


More Than Meets the Eye

by PathlessHuntress7296



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: ...I'm Bad at Tagging, Accidently Running Away Together, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, He Tries to Kill You, He's Very Conflicted, His Softer Side Revealed, In Denial, POV Alternating, POV Female Character, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Slowly Falls in Love Anyways, Then Tries to Save You, Wounded Physically/Emotional, hates loving you, whoops, you may or may not accidentally crash his ship on an uncharted planet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PathlessHuntress7296/pseuds/PathlessHuntress7296
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Kylo Ren/Reader fic.  A rather new, incompetent Resistance member, you fall into the hands of the First Order on your mission to steal classified intel. Kylo Ren plans to get answers out of you at first, but finds something about you to be rather intriguing.  A strange bond of trust forms between the two, and romance eventually ensues, but not without a healthy dose of heavy denial from Kylo that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mission Failure

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me, this is my first fic on here, and I just wanted to join the band wagon, so it's probably not the best tbh. But Kylo Ren quickly joined my problematic favs and i couldn't resist writing something about that handsome angsty man XD Hope you guys like it!

The force is all around is what they say, but, as we all know, there are seldom many who have a strong enough connection to it that they could use it. You were no exception to this fact.

A few months ago, when you were a just new Resistance recruit, you were giving some of the best pilots a run for their money; you could fly with the best of them, and you could sneak around with such elegant stealth too. Hell, you could steal just about anything if you tried.  That’s what growing up an orphaned life does to you. But, when it came down to fighting, you’d like nothing more than to run and hide. You could barely bring it upon yourself to hurt, let alone kill, anything or anyone. So, being assigned a mission where you’d have to fight your way out, if you got caught, was not exactly your idea of a good time. You only ever offered your services as a spy. Nothing more. However, you got far more than you ever anticipated that day you joined the Resistance.

Your goal was to uncover the next move of the First Order. With their StarKiller planet base destroyed, they had to be planning something new soon, and it was your job to find out what it was. Your mission was so close to being a success. You snuck onto the ship, you got the information you needed to steal, and all you had to do was get out without being seen. Seemed simple enough…right?

Sprinting around a corner, the heavy footfalls from the Stormtroopers chasing you beat heavily in your ears as you ran. You clutched the small external drive in your hand so tightly, that your knuckles were white, and you were clutching the blaster in your opposite hand even tighter. Blaster shots scored the walls around you, and you gave out a small yelp of shock and pain as one grazed your shoulder, just barely breaking skin.

_FIGHT BACK!_ You screamed at yourself in your head, but no matter what you thought to yourself, your hand continued to tremble weakly over the trigger.

_It’s now or never!_

Finally gaining enough courage to shoot, you had rotated your body towards the rapidly approaching figures, and fired a single shot from your compact blaster.

Your frightened eyes widened as you witnessed the blast suddenly freeze midair; a tall figure dressed head to toe in black, with his face concealed by a terrifying mask, was reaching outwards with his hand, somehow halting your first and only attack−Kylo Ren.

This was the moment you realized you were done for. You held no importance to them. You weren’t anybody important; just a spy, a thief, an orphan…a nobody. They’ll surely kill you the minute they get the chance. Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest. Desperately, you raised the gun again and fixed your face with shaky determination as you silently prayed to not give them the opportunity to kill you.

You pulled the trigger…or at least, you tried to that is. It was as if you were no longer in control of your own body and all the air had been sucked from your lungs. You couldn’t breathe.

Your feet lifted up off the ground as Kylo Ren raised his closing fist ever so slowly, crushing your airways.

“You won’t be needing that,” a deep, distorted voice spoke, sounding distant in your ears as you choked in his grip. The external drive fell from your shaking fingers, and shot over into Kylo’s free hand.

Your vision was beginning to blur, and you could feel your conscience slipping away quickly. You weren’t sure who or what was behind that mask, but it surely had to be some sort of hideous monster. You were sure of it.

_I’m going to die!_

“Pl-please,” you whimpered weakly as you plead for your life. The dark foreboding man pulled you closer to him until you were practically right in front of his masked face. Although you couldn’t see his eyes, you could feel them burning into you as you dangled helplessly before him. Your long [Y/HC] hair had long since fallen out of your neat braid, and it fell in a mess around your tear streaked face. Your hopeless [Y/EC] eyes searched the blank face of the mask, searching for some sign of mercy, but all he did was look at you blankly as you choked.

You tried to choke out something once more, but you were thrown brutally against the metal wall without warning. There was a sickening crack you both heard and felt, and you let out an agonizing cry of pain. Thick blood was oozing down over your face, obscuring your ever fading vision. The last thing you remember before you passed out was the sensation of being scooped up in someone’s arms.

“Sir, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to take care of our little guest,” Kylo droned indifferently, as he gathered the bloodied girl in his arms, and strode away from the rather apprehensive Stormtroopers.

 

* * *

 

You lifted your heavy head, and slowly opened your groggy eyes to find yourself in a small dark room. You seemed to be strapped to some sort of metal chair that held you upright, and it kept your wrists and ankles restrained tightly.

“Where-Where am I,” you breathed out in quiet confusion. Your memory was a blur, and all you could remember was the pain shooting through your skull as your body was flung into the ship’s hard, steel wall… and that menacing voice coming from the man in the mask echoed in your memories.

_Oh right…_ You were on a First Order Star Destroyer…and you had failed your mission. And-and now you were done for. You were sure of it. Surely, that madman in the mask would come back and torture you; what else could this chair possibly be for?

Tired, aching, and scared, tears started to stream slowly down your face as you were left alone with your terrified thoughts in silence. Or so you thought.  
You heard the shifting of fabric in the darkness, and your head shot up.

“Wh-Who’s there,” you asked as a tremor shook your voice. Your eyes searched frantically in the darkness, until a deep voice spoke from the shadows.

“Finally, you’re awake at last.“

Your eyes were finally able to focus on the dark figure sitting before you, and you felt the breath hitch in your chest. Kylo Ren was sitting a mere few feet in front of you, and you wanted nothing more than to run and put as much distance as you could between you and him. Panic started to overcome you and you urgently started struggling and pulling at your restraints to no avail.

“Stop that. There’s no use in wearing yourself out. I highly doubt in your current state that you’ll be going anywhere,” he stated monotonously and continued to sit and watch you through his emotionless mask.

Defeated, you fell slack against the chair and panted weakly. Your head was throbbing, and it had just occurred to you that your head had been bandaged to stop the bleeding from earlier. You must have looked briefly confused because he spoke again, and said something that rather surprised you, but also stuck a note of terror deep within.

“I apologize for the injury to you head. I might’ve gotten a bit carried away earlier, and…I’d hate for that to get in the way of us while we get to know one another,” he said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

“What do you want me for,” you blurted out fearfully, “I don’t know anything about the Resistance, I swear! I only just recently joined! Please, just let me g-“

Your voice was cut short by a wave of Kylo’s hand, but he released his hold on you a moment later. “Quiet. You think that I don’t already know that,” he chuckled darkly and it resounded around the mostly empty room, “your mind was far too easy to read while you were out cold, child.”

“I’m not a child,” you retorted sharply, pulling forward at your restraints to fix him with as brave a face you could muster...which wasn't all that intimidating.

His head tilted ever so slightly to the side, as if he were contemplating something, and he droned, “You most certainly act like one,” he paused and added less starkly, “However, there’s something about you that I find very intriguing…I can’t put my finger on it, but believe me when I say this, child. Whatever secrets you’re hiding from me, I’ll find them. And if you don’t give them to me willingly, then I will take them from you.”

With that the man stood, his hood slipping off of his head as he strode forwards to stand directly in front of you, and you instinctively drew back a bit. He was looking at you again, you could just feel it. So, you tried your best to harden your gaze and retorted timidly, “It’s not very polite to stare at people, you know…the least you could do i-is man up and stop hiding behind that silly mask of yours.”

Silence. All you could hear was his methodical breathing, and feel his heavy gaze burning into you yet again. Shying away, you turned your head to the side, no longer wishing to stare deep into the obsidian mask and see nothing but darkness.

He scoffed, and said quietly, in an almost softer sounding tone, “Perhaps, another time.” With that, he marched out of the room, flipping his hood back over his head, and the metallic cell doors closed with a heavy clang behind him.

By god, you were terrified by that man, but there was something about him that just seemed… I dunno, like he, himself, was hiding something from everyone; you just couldn’t put your finger on it. One thing’s for sure though, there was something more than just his appearance that he was hiding behind that mask. Call it the force or what-not, but you could tell that there was far more to this man than meets the eye.

You could feel it.


	2. Keep Your Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's head injury has lead them to the infirmary, and, because of this, Kylo Ren is questioned by General Hux about his intentions with you. Ren rejects Hux's accusations only to find that they may be true. He is unsure of what to do with these feelings and is faced with new conflicts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my second chapter. Kinda fluffy i'd say, but it's angsty fluff so it makes it okay. Hope y'all enjoy my meager attempts to write regardless though XD

Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days? You couldn’t tell how long you’d been in this cell anymore. In all truthfulness, you had only been in there for about three days total, and, in that time, no one had spoken to you; not a single word. There was a Stormtrooper that came in once a day to deliver a meager meal to you, but nothing more. Even when you tried to ask them questions. It wouldn't have bothered you that much if it wasn't so goddamn boring.

At first you had started out pretty scared, but after your first encounter with Kylo Ren in your cell, you had a rather odd feeling of inner calmness. Somewhere deep inside you, you just had a gut feeling that you wouldn't be getting killed like you'd originally thought... and you sure hoped your gut was right.

Your head injury had been giving you some grief as of late, and the throbbing had gradually gotten worse and worse. What you needed was medical attention, and all you got was a bandage around your aching head. The bleeding may have been stopped, but you kept getting dizzy spells, and your vision would waver sometimes. Frankly, it was beginning to worry you immensely.

"I swear to god...I'm gonna die here if these morons don't take care of this," you muttered to yourself, and furrowed your brow in frustration. Clearly, you didn't matter enough to them that they'd actually tend to your injury properly, so, the chances of your survival were starting to dwindle. That is, if it was serious enough to kill you.

A sharp pain shot through your skull, and a pained whimper escaped your dried, cracked lips. Just then, the metallic doors of your cell slid open, and you looked up painstakingly to see a stormtrooper...right on schedule too. You opened your mouth, and practically begged for help, "Please...I need medical attention...I-I need..."

Before you could even finish the sentence, you felt yet another sharp pain blast it's way through your head, and you let out an agonizing scream. A small trickle of blood was dripping down the side of your face, straining your skin in it's wake, and it splashed onto the ground with a sickening splat. All you could think about was the excruciating pain as your body began to seize, and yours eyes rolled into the back of your skull.

Thankfully, it all only lasted a moment before you blacked out.

 

* * *

 

"Can you explain to me, why that useless rebel scum is currently being treated in our infirmary," General Hux spat bitterly as he approached Kylo Ren on the main deck. His boots clacked loudly on the ground as he came angrily to a halt in front of the significantly taller Ren; his icy blue eyes pierced into his back, for he hadn't yet acknowledged the General's presence, much to Hux's annoyance.

"It was reported to me that she had had a seizure momentarily after seeking medical attention from one of my men. I had her brought to the infirmary to be treated, naturally," Kylo Ren said flatly without turning to look at Hux; he wanted nothing to do with him in his current state of mind; he was trying to think. Besides, he wasn't exactly on good terms with the man to begin with.

"This is ridiculous! Why didn't you just let the brat **die** then?"

This caught Ren's attention, and he spun around on his heel to growl in retaliation at the pale man, "Because I wanted her ALIVE! I'm not finished with her, and I'm certainly not going to let this woman get out of that so easily!"

The general flinched at his little outburst, but his questioning eyes narrowed as he hissed coldly, "Not finished with her? What more do you need? You already retrieved the intel she had tried to escape with. There's nothing more to it. We're already following a lead on the new rebel base, and the location of Luke Skywalker has been deemed easier to find if we steal the map back from said base. The girl can't give us any information we don't already know. We don't need her."

Kylo Ren stayed silent for a moment, and ground his teeth in irritation as he watched a smug smile form on General Hux's face. He wanted nothing more than to give his rival a straight answer to make him shut his mouth...but he couldn't. There truly was nothing more he could steal from you that they didn't already know about the Resistance, and he had no idea what it was that was making him want to keep you alive. Much to his dismay, he was unable to think of an answer to give Hux... or himself, and that angered him to no end.

Ren scowled beneath his mask, and bitterly strode away from General Hux, his cloak swaying behind him as he briskly retreated. 

"Don't tell me," the general scoffed, "you're attracted to that pathetic wretch, aren't you?"

Freezing in his tracks, Ren let Hux's words sink in. Attracted? To the girl? No...no, that can't be it. She's nothing exceptional at all. Long [Y/HC] hair, a slim figure, and fearful [Y/EC] eyes that would occasionally show a spark of retaliation... NO. She's clearly a coward; hardly worthy of me to begin with. Why would he even suggest such foolishness.

Ren glanced slightly over his shoulder and said lowly, "Of course I'm not...she's nothing to me." With that, he strode away from the smug faced general, and quickly left the main deck.

 _How could he suggest such a preposterous idea_ , he thought to himself as he fumed.

Finding someone attractive, or love for that matter, doesn't have a place in the dark side. Surely, the Supreme Leader would see that as a weakness. Not that he should worry though; it's not like he was in love with you. No! That'd be ridiculous!

 _I've only ever met the girl twice!_ _Once, when I captured her, and twice when I spoke to her in the cell...after, I had her head bandaged up._

His memory flashed back to him carrying the girl in his arms to the cell; blood was trickling down the soft, [Y/SC] skin of her cheek from a large gash in her forehead, and a pang of guilt overtook him. _What have I done?_

Much to Ren's displeasure, he found himself wondering if you were alright from your latest treatment, and he wanted to go see you. Shaking his head to rid you of his thoughts, he kept walking, trying to think of anything else BUT you.

 _Why would I find interest in such a silly girl?_ _There's got to be more to this..._

His thoughts had distracted him and when he finally came back into focus, he found himself at the doors to the infirmary. His eyes widened momentarily, and then he growled in frustration with himself.

 _Why am I here_ , he thought anxiously. He wanted nothing more than to walk away, however, his curiosity got the best of him.

Inside the infirmary, there were several metal cots, all separated by a thin wall, but all closed off by a glass door. There were no soldiers currently being treated from what he could see.

Kylo Ren treaded quietly down the hall, and came to a halt when he spotted a filled cot in one of the treatment rooms. Entering the room, the glass door sealed shut with a slow whirring sound, and he stood before the bed. Ren approached the girl's bed with caution, unsure if she was awake or not, and let out a silent sigh of relief; she was asleep. He took this as an opportunity to look at her once more, without her glaring at him for once...or crying. Reaching up, his hands found the edges of his helmet, and he pulled it off in one fluid motion. His dark waves fell about his face rather messily, but now he could look at her with eyes unshrouded by his mask.

She looked quite serene while she was sleeping; lacking just a bit of color in her face from her poor health and her hair was a tangled mess, but still...she looked rather pretty. With some hesitation, Ren got closer to the bed, and reached out to tuck a few stray strands of her messy [Y/HC] hair behind her ear.

You stirred a little in your sleep, startling him, but you had merely rolled over onto your side, causing the rest of your hair to fall over your face.

A small smile appeared on Kylo Ren's lips, and a light, warm feeling had overcome him, until he realized what he was doing, and backed away slowly. He quickly stormed from the room; pulling his helmet back onto his head as he berated himself. **_No_**. Whatever he was just feeling was not right; he refused to believe that he'd actually fallen for some weak child. It was impossible.

His breathing grew heavier as he felt his frustration and confusion growing with his conflicted thoughts. Was this another test for him? To see if he was truly free of the light? It had to be, and he knew that he had to end it as soon as possible. "I should have let her die," he snarled lowly, "as soon as she's returned to the cell, I'm going to end this once and for all."

_You can keep your secrets. I don't want them anymore._


	3. This Is the Fun Part, Pal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren decides to take you to a different location to deal with you, and it gives you the opportunity to make your escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doesn't have much of Kylo Ren, unfortunately, but at least our lovely reader is plotting her epic, if not risky escape. Also, the force may not be strong with her, but the sass sure is in this chapter.  
> ps- writing fight scenes while being hella tired is a bad idea...forgive me XD

As soon as you had woken up in the infirmary earlier today, healed and in somewhat good physical condition, you were dragged back to the familiar, small, dark cell and strapped back into that infernal chair.

By this point, your initial fear of being on a ship surrounded by your enemies had long since escaped your mind. You might not be the best fighter in the Resistance, but your specialty was getting in and getting out of places.

Now, you realized you’d be lying to yourself if you thought you stood a chance at escaping this goddamn cell. However, if you could just find a way out of the cell, there was a small chance you could escape to live another day.

You anxiously chewed the inside of your cheek as you tried to construct an escape plan. Most of your plans involved some highly improbable events occurring, but you had to hope that maybe, just maybe, one of those things would happen. Otherwise, there was no way you could get out of this cell block, not on your own at least.

You scanned the room once more with keen eyes, looking to see if there was anything that could aid you in some small way, but there was nothing as far as you tell. Looking down at your restraints, you pondered if there was some way you could get someone to remove them…it’s not like you could use Jedi mind tricks on anyone, and you highly doubted your skilled silver tongue could talk you out of this particular situation.

A heavy sigh escaped your mouth, and you decided to stare up at the ceiling in dismay. “Maybe by some insane stroke of luck, another stormtrooper will swoop in and save my ass,” you chuckled cynically to yourself.

You were thinking about this in regards to Finn; you had met him when you’d been assigned this mission to begin with. Of course you had heard all about him and his daring decision to flee the First Order; you had been quite excited to meet him at the time. He informed you of the ships layout, and gave you some important pointers on navigating the ship so you could quickly execute your mission and get out of there as soon as possible. You doubted you’d be as lucky as Poe was though. So, you continued to rack your brain intently for possible escape plans. You must’ve been thinking about it for hours, when the doors opened suddenly with a loud clang.

Glancing down from the ceiling, you saw Kylo Ren step into the cell, followed closely by two stormtroopers.

“Gee…long time no see, pal,” you muttered sarcastically, “I was beginning to think you guys were just gonna keep me around as a souvenir.”

“Silence,” Kylo Ren ordered in his usual deep, resonating voice, “you and I…we’re going to be taking a little trip, and I expect you to be on your best behavior. You’re going to be meeting someone very important, and if you speak out of turns, I will not hesitate to punish you.”

Somewhat phased, you tried your best to hold your demeanor before him, you refused to show fear again, “Ooooh, bite me,” you breathed out in a mocking tone.

Without skipping a beat, Ren’s hand shot out, and your head was slammed back against the chair; your mouth open and closed as you tried to fight back his use of the force, but you failed pitifully.

Glancing away from your struggle, he said in a commanding tone to the two stormtroopers, “Put her on board my ship, and prepare for our departure,” then he swiveled on his heel, and exited the room .

You instantly felt the pressure on your body leave you, and you gasped for air; the two Stormtroopers had already started to remove the chair’s restraints, and replace them with a cold pair of magnetic cuffs. Your eyes lit up at this, and the gears in your head were set swiftly into motion.

You weren’t exactly sure where Kylo Ren was taking you, but, you knew one thing for sure− this changes everything.

One of the stormtroopers prodded you in the back with his blaster, and ordered roughly, “Move!”

You shot the man a dirty look over your shoulder, but complied with his commands and moved forward. The two had taken their places behind you, and, as they left the cell, two more stormtroopers waiting outside the cell door took their place marching in front of you to lead the way.

Your hands were bound in the cuffs in front of you, and you smirked happily; this would eventually be in your favor, but you had to wait to act until you were on Kylo Ren’s ship. This was the crucial part of your plan, but also the most dangerous.

After all, Kylo Ren was clearly a dangerous man, and this escape was a huge risk…but it was your one and only shot.

You were marched into one of the ship's main hangers, and you craned your neck to look around the shoulders of the stormtroopers leading the way to get a look at the ship they were taking…because that ship and your getaway ship were gonna be one and the same.

Your eyes widened as you quickly approached a large, pitch black Upsilon-class shuttle. It was no tie fighter that was for sure. That would’ve been far easier to make off with, but it didn’t matter much to you. You knew it had two engine units, and it would be similar to flying just about any other shuttle-class ship. Flying it was going to be the easy part of your ridiculous escape plan…taking it was gonna be a hell of lot trickier.

Once you were dragged onto the ship, you were sat down into a chair. Fortunately, the straps were regular safety belts, and they automatically fell over your chest upon sitting to strap you securely in place; pretty standard safety features in most spacecraft nowadays. Then, two of the stormtroopers took their places standing in front of you.

 _Okay, that’s two_ , you counted silently in your head, _a_ _nd there’s probably going to be at least two more pilot class troopers…plus Kylo Ren. That’s not TOO bad, right?_

  
You were really hoping Ren didn’t bring any more troops with him; it’d make this so much harder on your plans, and they were already pretty shaky to begin with. Simultaneously whilst thinking, your eyes darted around the ship looking for the things you’d require eventually.

You were pleased to see everything you’d possibly need to carry out this mad plan, and you let your head hang and your hair fall in your face. The corners of your lips turned upwards in a mischievous smirk, and you released a shaky pent up breath. You couldn’t believe you were about to try this…

The loud sound of boots coming onto the ship made your head snap up and look in that direction. Your face was blank, and you fixed your blank stare at Kylo Ren.

“Care to share where were going? I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t like surprises,” you said drolly as you tilted your head to the side, blinking slowly.

The loading ramp doors of the shuttle whirred shut, and Kylo Ren simply looked at you for a moment, and stormed off to the pilot’s pit.

“Geez, who rained on his parade,” you said cheerily, and smiled at the two stormtroopers who had their backs to you. “You know, fellas. I know you’re supposed to be guarding me, but what’s wrong with having a plain ol’ conversation, you know? I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to anybody in days!” As you spoke, you felt the rumble of the ship’s engines coming to life, and as it took off into space.

 _It’s now or never_ , you thought to yourself anxiously.

So, you continued to berate the stormtroopers with a barrage of playful banter for a few solid minutes, and received no responses or turns of heads, even when you started to fidget and gesture over-enthusiastically as you chattered away.

Perfect.

“…You guys really remind me of those city law enforcers though. They always seemed to ignore me whenever I got brought in for pick-pocketing some aristocrat or stealing food or whatever. It used to really piss me off too when I was little, but, as I matured, I really came to terms with those scary, silent guards. ‘Cuz, I realized, that if they did acknowledge me whenever I tried talking to them… it would’ve spoiled the fun part when…,” you trailed off quietly and stopped speaking.

A few seconds of utter silence passed by, and, after fifteen minutes of mind numbing tales of your life story, the silence caused one of the stormtroopers to look over his shoulder.

“Where’d she go,” the stormtrooper exclaimed loudly, and the second soldier spun around in shock to find that the chair you were in just seconds ago was empty.

“What the…”

You dropped down from the ceiling behind one of the men, brought your shackled hands down, and looped them around his neck. You yanked your hands back as hard as you could in a choke hold. The stormtrooper gave out a strangled cry, and struggled against you, but he gradually grew weaker. The second stormtrooper quickly turned to fire his blaster at you, but you swiftly swung yourself around the first soldier’s neck, and kicked the second soldier back into the chair you had been sitting in. The safety belts automatically strapped him into place, and he quickly fumbled to undo the straps.

Working quickly, you kneed the first stormtrooper where it counted, and he slumped to the ground. As he slid to the ground, you brought your hands up to let him fall, and you brought your leg around to give him a hard kick in the head to finish him. He was out, and you speedily, brought the cuffs to the contraption on his wrist that unlocked the magnet, and the restraints fell right off your wrists.

A satisfied grin spread across your face, and you hastily spun around to nail the second stormtrooper in the chair right in the face; you felt your knuckles split a bit from the impact with the helmet, but you were pleased to see that the blow was enough to take him out.

You snatched the cuffs up off the ground and snapped them onto the second stormtrooper’s wrists. “That’s the fun part, in case you were actually listening, pal,” you uttered mockingly.

Breathing kinda heavily from your brief fight, you grabbed the two blasters they were armed with, slung one across your shoulder, and grasped the other firmly in your hands, “Alrightie, step one down. Now, find the engines, and take this baby down at the nearest planet…I hope.”


	4. Going Out with a Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader attempts to take down the ship, and hopes that, in crashing it, they can make an escape from the clutches of Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I'm glad a bunch of you are liking this, and I'd just like to thank everyone who gave me some pointers;  
> I'll try my best to improve my writing :D I'd also like to let you know that I might not post a chapter for a day or two because I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed today :P So.....I apologize for leaving you with such a big cliffhanger XD Hope you all enjoy it, and thanks again for all the kind comments! Hope you all have a Happy New Year!

Before you left to carry out step two of your escape plan, you glanced down at the two unconscious soldiers at your feet. It wasn’t easy, but you decided it would be best to hide the stormtroopers out of sight.

So, you dragged them a short distance, one by one, away from the loading ramp, and shoved the two into a storage compartment, making sure that the two were cuffed and unable to make a run for it, even when they awoke. The last thing you needed was a pissed off Knight of Ren and **four** stormtroopers chasing after you, instead of **two**.

For a short moment, you even considered donning one of their uniforms as a disguise, but then you figured, why bother? There are only four troopers total on the ship, from what you could tell; putting on a uniform wouldn’t work all that much to your advantage, unless there were far more of them on board the shuttle than you originally counted…which you really hoped wasn’t the case.

You peeked out of the storage compartment, and looked up and down the hall. _All clear_. Taking a step out of the side chamber, you cautiously made your way towards the engine room.

In full honesty, you weren’t exactly sure where the engine room really was, but you had a vague enough idea where it might be. And besides…you had nothing to lose at this point.

You snuck down to the end of the hall, and made your way down onto the bottom level of the ship. The soles of your boots made the slightest amount of sound as they clicked down the stairs, but you still tried your best to tread as quietly as possible. The way you saw it, you were lucky to get this far, let alone not have been caught yet.

_I guess the force is on my side for once._

You stepped off of the last stair and quickly pressed your back to the nearest wall, holding the blaster close to your chest and ready to fire if needed.

Glancing around the edge of the wall, you were relieved to find no one in your path, and continued your search for the engine room.

Luckily, you could hear the whirring and rumbling of the ship’s dual engines growing louder and louder as you snuck down the hall, so you picked up the pace and followed the sound.

You finally came to a large metal door where the sounds were the loudest, and you were certain it was the engine room. Much to your satisfaction, the door slid open with a light thud, and a smile spread across your face.

“Hell, yeah,” you exclaimed excitedly under your breath as you hastily entered the room so the door could shut behind you.

You were no expert on engineering, but you knew enough about starships and hacking−so, it was basically like the same thing, right?

Wrong.

It took you quite a bit longer than anticipated to find the ship’s current location, and that sure as hell wasn’t easy when they were flying at light speed.

 _There’s no way I can reroute the system to a new automatic destination without them noticing, especially if we dropped out of light speed_ , you thought bitterly. You nervously began to chew on your bottom lip as you racked her brain for a new idea, and it had to be fast. You were sure your lack of presence would be discovered sooner or later.

_Think, [Y/N], THINK!_

But you could only think of one idea, and you really didn’t want to do it. There would be no guarantee you’d survive…but it was your only shot.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you set your face with determination, and began entering a stream of codes at lightning speed. Suddenly, there was a loud whirring sound-you  had successfully dropped the ship out of light speed-and you gulped.

Your fingers moved at break neck speed; you were on very limited time now. The pilots were probably realizing that something was being tampered with as they spoke, and you couldn’t afford to waste your precious time. Not when Kylo Ren could be racing to end you at this very minute.

You quickly located what system you had dropped out of light speed in, and frowned. It was a marked system, but none of them had any civilizations on it.

“Great…of all the places to force crash a ship and potentially risk my life. Fucking fantastic,” you cussed aloud.

You entered some more lines of code, set the ship onto a route towards one of the planets, and skillfully locked it on course. You didn’t want the risk of the pilots taking over again though, so you had to set up a complex firewall to prevent them from doing so.

“Okay-okay,” you were beginning to panic and your breath was coming heavily, “it’s gonna be fine. This is gonna work…yeah. It’ll work.” Your mouth was gushing calming words to reassure yourself as you ran from the screens over to the actual engines.

You reached up with shaky fingers to your right ear, and removed one of your many metallic studs from its piercing. You held the stud up close to your eyes, and you very carefully twisted the top half of the circle until you heard a small click, and saw a small red light start to flicker.

One of your favorite things you’ve swiped on your journeys…micro explosives.  
You had stolen them off a so-called “jewelry merchant” who was smuggling them for some big time crime boss about two years ago, before you were in the Resistance. You took quite a few at the time, and always had on at least four-six every time you were on a mission. They came quite in handy, and packed a whole lot of firepower when you needed it.

 _Just one should do the trick_. You clicked it ten times around…that meant you’d have ten minutes to get somewhere safe before this ship came crashing down to whatever planet’s coordinates you had entered. By the time the explosive goes off, the ship would be in the planet’s orbit, so, your crash would be there for sure.

Not that it’d matter all that much, all the planets in this system were basically jungles, forests, and mountains…if the crash didn’t kill you, you probably wouldn't survive long there anyways.

Your hands were trembling as you stuck the stud directly onto the side of one of the engines, it wouldn’t destroy the whole ship, but it’d cause enough damage to make the shuttle crash.

_Nine minutes._

You were terrified; there was no way to tell what was going to happen to you…if you’d die from the crash… or if the stormtroopers would kill you before the ship crashes… or if Kylo Ren would finish you off himself.

You took in a large gulp of air, ran into the hallway, and the door slid shut behind you. You bolted down the metallic corridor; you didn’t really care anymore that your shoes were clanging loudly with each footfall.

_Eight minutes._

Running up the stairs, you pulled the second blaster that was slung across your back into your empty hand. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, you leapt and rolled for cover behind the nearest wall.

You were breathing heavily, and you glanced around the corner into the room you were originally being held in.

“WHERE IS SHE!”

_Seven minutes._

You gasped and hurriedly pressed your back flat against the wall. You had heard that Kylo Ren was known for throwing…well, for lack of a better term…tantrums. However, you hadn’t expected to see the man holding up one of his own stormtroopers by his neck so brutally.

_Six minutes._

They were the troopers you had tied up and left in the storage. The poor soldier’s feet were dangling in the air, helmet tossed to the side, and his face beet red. Spittle dripped from his mouth as he gasped for air, and his hands tugged helplessly at Kylo’s vice-like grip.

_Five minutes._

Your hand tightened on the trigger, and you bit down hard on your tongue to stifle your panicked breathing. You just noticed the second stormtrooper... lying dead on the ground just a few feet away from you; a large, gapping hole running straight through his chest, seared all around the edges from Kylo Ren’s angry-red light saber.

_Four minutes._

“HOW DID YOU LET HER ESCAPE, YOU FOOL,” Kylo Ren’s distorted voice roared in rage, and suddenly you heard a loud, sickening snap. Seconds later, you heard something thump heavily on the ground.

_Three…_

Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes, and you covered your mouth with your hand in shock. Silence hung in the air and all you could hear was Kylo’s exasperated breathing as he slowly calmed down.

_Two…_

“Find her…Now,” he uttered darkly to the two remaining stormtroopers.

_One._

A loud explosion erupted somewhere beneath them, and the ship swerved heavily to the right. Red emergency lights began flashing everywhere. All you could see was red and all you could hear was a shrill, earsplitting warning siren.

The two pilots were sent tumbling into the wall, and your head was thrown heavily against the wall you had been leaning into for cover.

A small cry escaped your mouth, and you fell forward onto your hands and knees from the blow to your head. Before you could bring yourself up, you felt a force yank you forward, and you gasped loudly in surprise.

You flew into Kylo Ren’s gloved grasp, and his fingers tightened slowly around your neck.

He was breathing raggedly, and his shoulders were shaking as he snarled, “What have you done?”  
There was a loud rumble as the crashing ship hurtled into the planet’s atmosphere, and the shuttle toppled once more, sending you and Kylo Ren flying.

You landed in a heap, smashing your face on the floor, splitting your lip. The taste of iron filled your mouth, and you tried to push yourself up, only to press down on something rather soft in comparison to the floor.

“Get OFF of me,” Kylo Ren growled in irritation, and force pushed you back into the wall once more.

You slumped to the ground like a rag doll, your head spinning, and you looked up into the face of the masked monster looming over you.

“I was right! I should’ve ended this before it even started,” he snarled lowly. He raised his lightsaber into the air above his head, and your eyes grew wide in terror.

This was the end. Your gut feeling had been wrong after all. At least you’d be taking this monster out with you… As Ren brought down the blade, simultaneously, the ship smashed into the ground.

There was a loud explosion and everything went black.


	5. Behind the Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being forced to crash the ship on an uncivilized planet, our reader is almost killed by the falling wreckage, but is surprisingly saved by none other than Kylo Ren. Feeling guilty, she digs him up from the rubble, works to the best of her knowledge to treat his wounds, and is shocked to finally see what hides beneath his mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm really happy to hear that so many people are enjoying my story, and i'd like to say thanks to everyone who wished for my speedy recovery. I'm feeling much better than I expected, just a little bit sore if anything, so i decided to write another chapter :D I hope you all enjoy it!

Your eyelids opened weakly; your vision was flickering, and there was a loud ringing in your ears from the explosive impact. Your right wrist ached a bit, and the taste of iron still lingered on your tongue from your split lip.

Slowly, you pushed yourself off the ground, wincing as a sharp pain shot through your wrist, and your rib-cage. You hissed lightly through your teeth, and quickly ceased using that arm. You might’ve broken a rib possibly, but that wrist was definitely sprained.

You blinked a few times to allow your eyes to adjust, and you looked around in a daze. Large hunks of metal and wrecked parts of the shuttle were scattered all around, and one of the large wings was towered over you.

You lifted yourself carefully to your feet, and examined your surroundings with searching eyes; you wouldn’t feel safe yet until you found your remaining captors…whether they be dead or alive.

In mere moments, your eyes fell on the remains of one of the last two stormtroopers, crushed and mangled under the wreckage of the crash; he surely died on impact.

Your stomach turned at the rather gory sight, and you quickly turned away from it, only to have your eyes fall on an even more gruesome sight. The last stormtrooper was hanging, impaled on a large broken piece of the ship’s piping. He was still twitching, and blood coated the pipe where he had fallen onto its unforgiving edges.

The poor man reached weakly out to you, fingers trembling, and then his hand fell limply at his side; his head lolling lifelessly to his white armored chest, now stained red with blood.

The horrifying sight sent your head reeling, and you buckled over gripping your stomach, vomiting the meager contents of your stomach onto the ground. You slowly stood and spat the fowl taste from your mouth, and whipped your hand across your lips.

Violence and gore was not your forte. Unfortunately for you, it went hand in hand with espionage and thievery more often than none. You looked around the smoking and flaming wreckage; eyes combing the area with keen eyes. You still hadn’t seen him yet…Kylo Ren.

And, frankly, he was the biggest of your fears right now. You could feel the paranoia slowly creeping over you, and you frantically searched around for a weapon of some sorts. There was no way in hell that you’d be caught dead by that man without being armed with SOMETHING.

Unbeknownst to you, in your panic, the wing that was standing tall above you had started making loud creaking sounds as it began to fall towards the ground, and as the massive hunk of metal tilted forward further and further, it gained speed in its descent.

You noticed far too late though, and gasped loudly when you turned and saw the wing hurtling down at you. Petrified and frozen to the spot, you threw your hands up to cover your hopeless [Y/EC] eyes, and let lose a terrified scream from your throat.

The wing was just about to crush you to a pulp, when someone crashed into your side and sent you tumbling out of the way. You skidded painfully across the coarse ground, and whipped your head up just in time to see the wing and another large hunk of the wreckage crumble onto a dark figure as he tried to flee to safety, and failed.

Eyes wide in shock and your entire body quivering, your mind was quickly trying to decipher what had just happened. A loud breath released shakily from your parted lips as you realized who had saved you…Kylo Ren.

_WHY? Why would he save someone like me...Why me?_

It was the only thought that raced through your head; you were utterly confused and boggled by the mere idea that this…this monster of man would go out of his way to save you from being mashed to bits. It made absolutely no sense what-so-ever. He was just about to slash you down back on the shuttle when it was crashing, and suddenly he just turns around and saves your life?

_Why?_

Your mouth hung agape, unsure of what to think, but your legs, as if moving of their own accord, raced you to the fallen wreckage. You scrambled through the searing hot debris, burning your bare hands in the process trying to dig up the man who had just saved you.

Your breathing gradually grew ragged, and came heavily as you ripped the scraps out of the way. Your arms ached, and the pains in your wrist and ribs were becoming worse and worse with each passing moment you tore through the rubble frantically.

Kylo Ren was a horrible, monster of a man, who many would rejoice to see dead, and you knew that. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to let him die after he had saved your life. You just couldn’t let that happen; the guilt afterwards would ruin you.

Mustering all of the strength you could, you grasped an edge of a large chunk of the wing, and pulled with all your might. It slowly began lifting up off the ground, and you grunted from the strain in your arm's muscles. Sweat was gathering heavily on your brow, and dripping down your face from all the effort. Just as your arms were about to give way, you noticed a hand sticking out from below some smaller debris, just underneath the piece you were lifting.

Your eyes lit up with hope, then you squeezed them shut as you heaved up with every bit of strength left in your body.

“C’MON,” you roared forcefully from your lungs! Using that burst of energy and power, you pushed the massive hunk of metal off of him. Gasping for breath, you hastily dug the unconscious man from under a few remaining scraps of metal, and you dragged him from the pile a short distance away.

Desperately, you pressed your ear to his chest, listening for any sign of a heartbeat that you could find. Thankfully, you heard his heart beating through his heavy clothing and armor, but it sounded slow and weak. Sighing in relief, you sat back on your feet for a moment, listening to nothing but the sound of the shipwreck burning and crumbling behind you, and your heavy breathing. Suddenly, you grew rather apprehensive as a thought struck you…you have to treat him.

There was no way he could be completely unharmed from such an incident. No way at all. Unsure of where to start, you glanced up and down his body looking for any signs of injury. Your eyebrows furrowed in concern as you examined his legs. One of them was bent at an incredibly unnatural angle, and your heart instantly sunk like a rock.

You had had very basic medical training; the most you’d ever had to treat was a small sprain, quite similar to your wrist's current state, but this…this was going to be very tricky.

Drawing in and releasing a shaky breath, you closed your eyes and said aloud,” I…I can do this.”

You then opened your eyes, and with a look of new found determination, set to work. Running back to the ship's remains, you located some scraps of metal and wire from which you could fashion a leg brace of sorts, and hurriedly returned to the Kylo’s side.

It took you a while to do it, but you tried your best to set his leg back in place and built the brace around it. You had to tear some cloth from his cloak to keep it snuggly in place, but you figured it’d have to do for now. Sitting back and looking at your fine work, you froze. Sure, his leg was taken care of, but in order to finish checking for any further injuries, you’d have to remove his clothing…and his helmet.

Your unsure gaze rested on the man’s mask. What would you find underneath it? Those empty, dark slits that were void of all emotions...There was no way of knowing what he truly looked like. Would he look as monstrous as he behaved? Was he disfigured...hideous...ugly?

There was only one way to find out.

You scooted closer to his still form, so that you were kneeling next to his chest and head, and reached up with shaking hands to grasp the edges of his helmet with your fingertips. Pausing for a moment, you held your breath, and pulled the mask gently from his head.

Much to your surprise, the unconscious man on the ground before you was actually quite young, and you stared at him in quiet shock, observing him with eyes full of curiosity. He had a long, pale skinned face, with light freckles dotting his skin here and there. Long locks of smooth, black waves fell all about his head in a disheveled manner, and across his face was a long scar that crossed over his cheek, nose, and forehead; it looked as if had rather recently been healed too. Overall, his appearance had come as quite a surprise to you, and your mouth hung slightly agape as you sat and starred at the man lying at your knees…this was what he looked like- the infamous Kylo Ren.

The so-called monster whom you had feared so much was completely different than what you had imagined him to be. His face had a youthful look to it and was rather soft on the eyes…he was actually quite handsome looking.

Coming to your senses, you shook your head vigorously, and scolded yourself mentally. Now was not the time to be lollygagging like a starstruck girl over a seriously, heavily injured man- regardless of how much of surprise his appearance was. So, you pursed your lips, and continued your work ever so carefully.

You slowly and cautiously removed his body armor, gloves, and shirt, as not to harm him if he was injured, and performed a couple of simple tests to look for any more broken or sprained bones. His chest was rising and falling slowly, and you could see the beginnings of some bruising spreading across his ribs− a few were most likely broken. You had set his helmet and clothing aside, but you pulled the remains of his cloak over to you and tore it into long strips to bind his chest with. You did so ever so gently, but still tight enough for his healing ribs to have support, and, once you were sure all of his severe wounds were treated to the best of your abilities, you stood up and dusted your hands off on your filthy pants.

The sun was growing lower and lower in the sky, and you frowned. You needed to find shelter.

Your own wounds still needed to be treated too, but you were stranded on an unfamiliar planet and the sun was quickly setting. Getting shelter was far more important at the moment. Sighing heavily, you examined your surroundings once more. Tall, dark, mostly deciduous pine-like trees towered above you, the ground was mostly free of any tall brush, and it consisted of mostly rocky looking, greyish-brown soil with patches of short grass or hedges covering some areas. As you pivoted on your heel, you spotted some massive mountain ranges overhead; they were fairly close to your location from what you could tell.

Running over to the wreckage once more, you rummaged through it searching for anything that could be of aid to you, and walked away with a mildly scalded rucksack that you packed full of various scraps, an emergency health kit you stumbled upon, a small battle dagger you swiped off one of the stormstroopers, and, fortunately, a functioning blaster.

You swung the medium sized bag over your arms onto the front of your chest, and then strode over to the still unconscious Kylo Ren. Stooping down, you pulled the young man’s arms around your shoulders and, with a bit of a struggle, you lifted him onto your back to carry him piggyback style, his head slumping against your shoulder.

Wincing heavily at his weight, you started to make your way towards the nearest mountain, and groaned wearily, “ Damn, you’re heavy. Geez! Alightie, pal. Hope you’re ready for a bit of a walk…’cuz I sure ain’t.”


	6. Eyes Are the Window to the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After taking shelter up in the mountain, Kylo Ren finally awakens and is confronted by the reader. He's not too thrilled that you removed his helmet without his permission, but you're not in the mood to listen to another outburst. So, our lovely reader gives him a piece of her mind, and Kylo Ren comes to face with some dangerously fast growing conflict with his own emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty fluffy chapter in my opinion, but I have some plans to build up to sooooo it had to happen. Glad to hear that so many people are enjoying the story though, and I hope you like where it goes eventually! I promise to update again soon!
> 
> PS- I hope you all had a fun New Year's eve! I spent it playing Star Wars Battlefront for about 6 straight hours with the bestie ^.^

The last thing Kylo Ren recalled doing was rushing to the girl’s side, and pushing her away from the falling wreckage. _I saved her…_

_Why did I do it?_

 He hadn’t the slightest idea why he did it… All he did know was that he saw that wing hurtling down towards you, he heard your blood-curdling scream of terror, he saw you freeze; too petrified to even move…and something inside him just clicked. He couldn’t just stand there and let you die. He had to move. 

_I have to save her._

 Before he knew it, he had hurdled towards you, and pushed you to safety. He felt a twinge of relief as your head shot up, and his warm brown eyes met yours for a split second; was it just him, or had he imagined the concern in your eyes. Mere seconds later, there was nothing but darkness.

  _I’m dead…I must be dead_ , he thought darkly, but he could still feel a dull throbbing in his leg. As he focused more and more on that dull feeling, it gradually grew into a sharp pain that made him realize that his whole body was aching terribly.

 A pained groan escaped his lips, and he opened his eyes groggily to blurred surroundings. He couldn’t tell where he was, but everything was dimly lit by a warm glow as his vision adjusted. It looked like some sort of…cave?

 “Finally, you’re awake,” you piped up sarcastically. You were sitting next to a small fire that you had thrown together a while ago, and you were currently trying to build it up bigger so you could better heat the little cave you had found for shelter in the mountainside.

 “I was wondering when you might come about. How are you feeling,” you asked with a nervous chuckle, and ruffled the back of your head.

 Awkward silence.

 “Uhm…thank you…for uh…saving me,” you said softly and looked down bashfully at your feet. You weren’t quite sure what to do or say at all…you’d been thinking about it the whole time he was unconscious, but now he was awake, and you were panicking. After all, he was technically evil, wasn’t he? What the hell does someone say to their enemy after they’ve saved you? You had no fucking clue. So, you decided it would be best to continue rambling onwards.

 “I…uh…had to tend to your wounds a bit. You got pretty banged up, so...you probably shouldn’t try to move around too much,” you muttered quietly.

“I tried my best to wrap up your leg, but it’s hurt pretty bad…I-I don’t know what more I can do to help,” you trailed off a bit, but then added a bit peppier, “But, your ribs should heal up just fine! Those were a synch to patch up once I got all that silly armor of yours off, once I did that, it wa-“  


Ren’s eyes were rather distant while you spoke the whole time, as if he were in a daze, but, at the mention of removal of his armor, he suddenly bolted upright, pushing himself up with his forearms so he was sitting. The small emergency blanket that you had found in the medical kit and had placed over him, had slipped off of his bare chest, and he looked at you with wild eyes, “You did what!”

 Startled, you jumped back a bit in surprise and your eyebrows furrowed anxiously as you grew uneasy, “W-what do you mean? You were hurt! So, I had to treat you, is all...”

 His eyes widened in realization, and his hands shot up to his face; his helmet was gone. A wave of anger came over him, and he growled loudly, “You took my mask off!”

 “Y-your mask,” you breathed out, baffled by the accusation. You were expecting your first confrontation with the man, when he awoke, to be rough, but you weren't expecting him to be so angry about his helmet of all things. 

 “W-wait…are you telling me that you’re freaking the hell out because I took off your mask,” you asked hotly. Confidence flooded back into you, and you refused to be intimidated anymore, “You’re kidding, right?”

 You could of sworn that his furious brown eyes looked mortified for a split second, but he quickly returned to glowering at you in an instant, “You hadn’t the right to remove it, you stupid girl! Now, give it back to me!”

 You raised an eyebrow at the nearly half naked man on the ground, and pursed your lips, “Look, I had to remove most of your clothes so that I could make sure you weren’t badly injured, and that included your mask! So, cry me a river and stop acting like such a child!”

You could see an angry light burning in his eyes when you called him a child, ready to lash out at you, and you silently thanked the gods that you made the decision to hide away his lightsaber before he woke up. Of course, he may still be able to use the force on you, but, at this point, you figured he was in no position to harm you. In the state he was in, he needed you. And that was certainly enough of an upperhand for you to decide to lay down the law, and put him in his place for once. 

 You weren't going to let him intimidate and control you anymore. It was about time you gave this asshole a piece of your mind!

Standing up abruptly, you stomped over to his side, quite satisfied to see the surprise in his eyes when you did this, and you kneeled down next to him, getting nice and close to his face.

“You listen to me, pal,” you said bitterly, “I’m sorry if I invaded your personal bubble or whatever, but, here’s the situation. Your ship crashed. Yeah, it was my fault, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to go anywhere with you! And, yes, I’m incredibly grateful that you saved my skin, but I have no idea why you did it, and it’s driving me crazy! So, of course I wasn’t going to let you just die…I want to know why you did it, and in order to do that, you kinda need to be alive. So, yes. I took off your clothes and that goddamn helmet so I could see your face and your body, and check to make sure that you weren’t gonna die on me, okay?”

 Gritting your teeth, you jabbed him hard in the chest and spoke lowly, "And, in case you haven't noticed, we're kinda stranded on this godforsaken rock with no food, no water, no ANYTHING, and I have no fucking idea when or if we're going to be rescued because this place isn't settled at all. There's not a single civilization on it or near it for ages! So, you better behave yourself, and be grateful for my help because, without me, you'll be dead in days. Now, get some sleep, you idiot...you'll need it if you want that leg of yours to get any better."

With that, you stood and strode away from the rather bewildered looking sith, and sat down with a heavy thud on the ground, a plumb of dust coming up as you did so. You stared into the fire with the full intent of ignoring him if he dared to argue with you any further.

 

Kylo Ren sat speechless, the girl’s words echoed in the loud silence that hung in the air. Of course he was angry at her, she’d removed his mask…you saw his face, you could see his _eyes_. It might seem like a trivial thing to many people, but the removal of his helmet meant so much more than that to him. It’s what separated him from others, and what he used to hide away from the light and his feelings. And now… _she’s seen me. There’s nowhere for me to hide now…there’s no way to hide my emotions from her._

Nothing was more threatening to him than his own emotions. Snoke had taught him to ignore nearly all of them, and to focus on nothing but his rage and hatred. That's where he drew all of his power from. _Frustration. Abandonment. Fury. Loathing...Sadness._ Those were his guiding lights through the dark side of the force, but, no matter how hard he tried, there always seemed to be a call to the light; tempting him to feel all of the emotions he was taught to ignore.

A person's eyes are the doors to their soul, and if you could see his eyes, you could read him like an open book. While you would see the darkness in him, you would also be able to see the light he tried so desperately to hide behind the dark slitted screen of that mask.   _Joy_. _Caring._ _Selflessness. Hope...Love._ You'd be able to see it all.

That was especially dangerous to him because, although he was terrified to admit it, he had realized that he rather liked you…a lot.

And, that little speech you just gave him only further confirmed his fears…he was falling for you, and there was nowhere he could hide from that.

Kylo Ren watched you as you quietly fumed, and his underlying fears slowly died down. The two of you sat in silence for a long while, and the crackling of the fire was all that could be heard. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him…

“I don’t know your name,” he murmured inaudibly, but your head snapped up to look at him with curiosity glistening in your eyes.

“Did you say something,” you asked flatly, fixing him with a hardened stare.

He refused to look at you for fear of what you'd see and think, so, he favored looking at the ground instead. "I said," he cleared his throat, and stated clearly, "I don't know your name."

You looked at him dumbfounded; you hadn't expected him to ask...or care for that matter. Realizing that you were taking an awfully long period of time to answer him, you replied lightly, "[Y/FN]. [Y/FN] [Y/LN]."

"[Y/FN]..." he mumbled quietly under his breath.  _That's quite a beautiful name_... The thought crossed his mind briefly before he scolded himself, and bit his tongue.  _No. Stop thinking such things. It's all but a temptation, and I have to destroy it as soon as pos..._

"So," you interjected his conflicted thoughts in a rather sassy tone, "how exactly should I address you? I mean, do you have another name that isn't so...i dunno..."

"No," he stated bitterly to shut down your question, "I don't."

You sat silently for a moment, biting your lip awkwardly, and looked at the sullen expression on his face. He was obviously hiding something from you, you weren't an idiot; you knew when it was and wasn't your place to pry.

_It's probably best to just leave that topic alone then...but I still need to know what to call him though._

"Well, I have to call you by some sort of name, and I know it's not Kylo Ren. You people never seem to use your real names anyways...so, I'm just gonna call you Ren, for short, okay?"

You waited patiently for an answer from the sulking man, and he finally replied in an irritated, monotone, "Fine."

"Hey," you said in a softer voice, and waited for him to look at you. It took a while, but he finally looked up, and his warm brown eyes met your gentle [Y/EC] eyes.

"Get some sleep, Ren," you said with a small smile, "You really do need it." You then continued to tend to the flickering embers of the fire.

Ren slowly laid back down on ground and turned onto his side, so that he was facing away from you; his heart was thumping heavily in his chest, and his mind was racing. The way you said his name reminded him far too much of his other, real name...but, the way you said it was so comforting, and kind-like you really meant it. Even after he had thrown you at a wall and injured your head, and choked you to the edge of death, and threatened to kill you on the spot. You genuinely meant it.

The way his name left your lips sounded like you were forgiving him for all those awful things he had done, and, as much as he had pretended to hate it, he couldn't wait to hear you say his name once more. 

 


	7. Only One Blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovely reader awakes to a new day, and is ready to go on a search for food. Kylo, on the other hand, is being stubborn and refuses to accept further medical help from you. Unfortunately, you realize that the planet's temperature drops dramatically at night...and you only have one blanket. The two of you find that it's time to start overcoming your trust issues with one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, readers! Sorry I took so long to update; to be honest, my muse has been feeling rather low. I promise I'll try to update a little bit sooner next chapter, but I will be back at uni so it'll be a bit harder to update as frequently. However, I definitely plan on continuing this fic (because I'm Kylo Ren loving trash). Thanks again for all the sweet comments, you all made me smile like the biggest idiot to ever idiot :3 Anyways, I hope you like this chapter; I might not be able to update too soon, so I figured I'd make it nice and long....and filled to the brim with fluffy goodness ^.^ Enjoy!
> 
> PS-sharing is caring, am I right?

Dawn was just coming upon you as you awoke fairly early in the morning. The horizon was slowly beginning to grow lighter, but the stars still hung in the deep blue sky overhead. The soft, dying light of the planet's moon was just barely shining into the cave, but it gave you enough light to see through your sleepy, adjusting eyes.

It was rather dim in there without the fire going because it had died down to nothing more than a few glowing embers in the night. You reached your arms high above your head to lazily stretch your limbs. Sleeping on the cold hard ground wasn't exactly your ideal idea of comfort, but you had plans to improve your humble little shelter today hopefully. 

Stifling a yawn with your hand, you got to your feet and stretched once more. Your eyes wandered over to the dark, slumbering form of Kylo Ren, still asleep and sprawled out underneath the blanket...the only blanket.

Sure, you might've gotten a tiny bit chilly last night, but that's why you ended up moving closer to the fire to sleep later in the evening; you didn't sleep all that much to be honest, so it didn't really matter to you. Your mind had been racing and making sure to remind you that you were stranded on a planet in the middle of nowhere with nothing, but a rather infuriating hot-head of an injured Sith for company. It was plenty enough to keep you from drifting off to sleep. Not to mention, you had next to nothing in the ways of supplies or food.

As the thought of food crept into your head, your stomach rumbled emptily. It's been at least a day since you've last eaten, and the pangs of hunger would only grow worse until you found  _something_ to eat.

Quietly, you began gathering the few things you might need while you go out. Naturally, you were bringing the blaster with you; there was no way in hell you were going gallivanting around unarmed on an unfamiliar planet−hell no. So, you tucked the blaster snuggly into your belt where you could access it easily, slipped the battle dagger into one of your belt loops, and then slung the little rucksack onto your back.

You had already emptied it of the previous items you had collected at the shuttle's crash site before, and you were planning on filling it again upon visiting the wreckage a second time. You needed to check and be sure there wasn't anything else of use to you.

That, and you also wanted to use the ship scraps to set some traps. Your first priority was finding food, and you had to start somewhere, right? Traps would be easy to put together, and they could be reset and checked as often as needed. Gathering and hunting would be your second and third options today, once you built a decent number of mechanisms for traps that it.

As you were preparing to leave, you saw movement in the corner of your eye, and you turned to see Ren waking up from his sleep.

In a hushed voice you apologized, "Morning, Sunshine. Sorry if I woke you up," you paused and walked over to the cave wall, where you had placed the medical kit away for safe keeping and asked, "How are you feeling?" 

You heard a sharp intake of air and a rather unhappy hiss of pain, and stopped to look over your shoulder at the dark haired man.

"I'll take it that you're hurting pretty bed then?"

"I'm fine," Kylo Ren growled through gritted teeth, and looked away from you; he was quite obviously in pain and trying to hide it from you. 

_There he goes again...not looking at me. What's his deal? He can't still be mad at me for taking the mask off, right? Well, whatever..._

You raised an eyebrow, crossed your arms across your chest, and huffed snarkily, "Oh really?"

Turning away, you started rummaging through the medical kit once more, picking things up, and reading the labels silently to yourself as you continued speaking to Kylo Ren, "Well, I was just about to head out to try to find us some breakfast, so," you found what you were searching for, a small bottle of painkillers, and shut the box with a small click, "I want you to sit tight, and try not to do anything reckless while I'm gone, okay?"

You sauntered over to his side, and kneeled down, placing the bottle next to him with a smug, knowing grin. "That means taking it easy, and keep resting. So, I'm just gonna go ahead and leave these painkillers right here...you know, just in case you might need them, tough guy."

Kylo clenched his jaw tightly and retorted lowly, "I said that I was _fine."_  As he spoke, he finally met your eyes with a hardened gaze, and you held it for a moment, silently revolting against his attempt to intimidate you.

Your lips parted as you slowly took an intake of air and sighed exaggeratedly, "Okay...if you say so,  _Ren_."

His name rolled off your tongue, practically dripping with sarcasm, and his breath hitched in his chest. It was all he could do not to break his intense stare down with your steely gaze to look at your parted lips. No matter how subtle of a glance, you'd surely notice his behavior and put two-and-two together within seconds.

Kylo Ren couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd do if you got the hint that he found you attractive. However, he grit his teeth together, and kept his composure as the two of you locked eyes, trying his best to ignore his thoughts. 

After a few seconds of silence, you rolled your eyes, and stood up from your kneeling position by his side, "Well, I'll be off then."

"Wait," Kylo called out after you unexpectedly, and you stopped in your tracks, glancing slightly over your shoulder.

"What," you barked impatiently; all you wanted was to find some goddamn food, and you were stuck dealing with this stubborn bastard instead.

"You're just going to leave me here? Unarmed," he asked in a deep, monotone voice laced with scorn.

Shrugging your shoulders, you muttered in reply, "Well...uh. I only have the one blaster, and I kinda need the knife, and...uhm...uh." You fell silent and looked away anxiously, avoiding his questioning gaze.

"And, what," he sneered hotly, an angry grimace spreading across his lips, "you don't trust me, do you?"

"Yes...well...no. I-I don't know! I mean, you haven't exactly shown me any respect or thanked me for anything that I've done for you! And I'm really going out on a limb here to help you, and you're always getting defensive over every little thing I say or do! Are you really that surprised that I don't exactly trust you with a deadly firearm in your hands...I don't KNOW you! And you certainly don't know ME."

You fell silent once more, glaring at the speechless Kylo Ren, and pulled the dagger from your belt loop. You walked over to his side once more, and threw the dagger down at his feet, impaling it into the hard soil.

"There. You happy? Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna go try to find us something to eat before we starve on this godforsaken rock."

The two of you were butting heads a lot since you've crashed, even though it hadn't been too long, but you already had noticed that he always seemed to calm down at some point, and you could almost instantly spot the change in his demeanor when he calmed down too.

 _Without that silly mask, he's a hell of a lot easier to figure out,_ you thought to yourself. 

Kylo was awfully quiet as you stood by his side, and you just stared at him expectantly as you waited for an apology or some sort of response from him; you were just waiting to hear that softer, calmer tone in his voice like you had last night. 

"Do you really expect me to sit here all day by myself," he muttered bitterly under his breath.

You sighed exasperatedly; apparently this wasn't one of those moments after all.  "Relax! I won't be gone  _all_  day. Besides, you can't walk on that leg of yours, even if you try. So, stay put. I'll be back soon enough."

With that, you strode out the cave entrance, no longer willing to wait and listen for Kylo Ren's complaints and arguing. 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time the sun had started to set, you had successfully set up four traps in four, separate locations, and had gone back to the crash site to collect some parts for something you thought of that day that could be of some good use.

You spent an hour or two patching something workable together to bring your idea to life, and, once you were satisfied, you hooked it onto the back of the rucksack and began your food gathering search. 

Unfortunately, you didn't find much. Well, you did find some sort of odd looking fruit on a tree, but you had no idea if it was edible to begin with. Luckily for you though, as you wandered through the forest, you stumbled upon a river. It was riddled with stones, large boulders jutting out about the water and smaller rocks alike. The water was flowing somewhat fast, but it looked like it was safe enough to wade in and not get pulled downstream. It was quite a lovely sight to behold in the warm, orange hues of dusk.

It was here you did happen to find food. You managed to spear three fish on a stake you made from a nearby tree branch. That is, after a few failed attempts and many close calls of slipping in. After that, it started getting dark, so, you started to make your way back to the cave.

The sun was setting incredibly fast, and a massive gust of wind had come along, stinging your face and whipping your long [Y/HC] hair around wildly in the wind. The temperature was dropping like a stone as night overcame the planet, and you hastily broke into a sprint back to the cave to beat the setting sun.

You weren't very well dressed or prepared to be out in temperatures that severe, and you needed to get inside and rekindle the fire before it got too cold. You were rather thankful for the fact that you had decided to collect extra wood and kindling the day you crashed; you'd of hated to be out in the cold, pitch black searching for more now.

 _Maybe I can sleep better tonight if I make the fire a bit bigger to warm up the place more,_ you thought hopefully, but you weren't too hopeful about it; it was a fairly large cave, and you doubted you could heat the whole thing with one measly fire.

You trotted into the cave entrance, shivering and rosy cheeked, and were met by the comforting warmth and glow of the fire on your face. Kylo was sitting near it, prodding the flames with a twig, and had a rather solemn expression on his face.

Upon hearing approaching footsteps, he looked up at you and said flatly, "Wouldn't be gone all day, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow at you, and watched you carefully, looking for some sort of apology from you.

You had technically said you'd be back sooner, but you opted to ignore him pointing out the blatantly obvious, and walked over to sit by the fire, across from him so you could warm up. You let the rucksack slip to the ground with a heavy thud, and you dropped down onto your knees so you could warm your hands by the fire.

"Thanks for getting the fire going again," you said nonchalantly, completely ignoring his prior comment. Once you regained some warmth in your fingers, you grabbed the rucksack and dragged it closer to you so you could share your findings with Ren.

"Now, I can start cooking right away," you held up your catch proudly, and smiled cheekily, "You hungry?"

You were met by an unimpressed face, and crossed arms. Apparently, your finding of food wasn't enough to make him lose his bitter demeanor. You slowly lowered the fish down, and a small scowl spread across your face.

"A simple _thank you_ would suffice, you know," you grumbled as you prepared the meticulous task of gutting and cleaning the fish. Reaching towards your belt loop, your fingers grasped around at nothingness for a split second before you recalled leaving the dagger with Ren earlier. 

You furrowed your brows and sighed heavily. The last thing you wanted right now was to talk to Mr.Brightside; you were in a bad mood to begin with, and he'd probably only make it worse with that attitude of his.

"Hey, can I have my knife back," you requested, holding out your hand expectantly.

"I don't have it," he stated coldly, not bothering to look at you, "It's still over where you left it earlier."

"And?"

"Go get it yourself," he scoffed, and threw the twig from his hand into the flames, "you told me to stay put, remember?"

You pursed your lips, but got up and retrieved the lonely blade that was still protruding out of the earth where you had left it. Returning to your spot by the fire, you went about your business quietly, and silence hung in the air for quite a long time. 

As you staked the fish on sticks over the fire, you broke the silence peacefully, "Hey...I know it was probably boring just sitting around all day."

Dark, brooding eyes glanced up from under his messy locks, and Kylo Ren droned harshly, "You think?"

You rubbed your arm awkwardly, and stuttered shyly, "Look, I...I'm really sorry. I know it's probably hard not being able to walk and all...So, I went ahead and made you these."

As you were speaking, you unstrapped a crude pair of crutches, constructed of random assortments of ship scraps, and held them out to him.

"I know they're not much, but I figured that you could at least _sorta_ walk around, then maybe you could quite being such a jerk to me for ditching you, okay," you offered him a small, but serious smile. In a way, you weren't offering him your trust just yet, but you were going to give him a chance to start building that trust. 

He eyed the crutches warily, and reached out to take them from you. As he took them from your hand, his fingers brushed yours for a moment, and he quickly drew back with the crutches tightly in his grasp.

"Uh...Thank you...[Y/N]," he said softly, and then set them to the side.

That was good enough for you, for now. So, you removed the fish from the spits, and the two of you ate in silence once more. Although, this time it was due to the fact that neither of you had eaten for almost two days now, and you were starving.

You got up to retrieve some more wood for the fire, and placed a large log on top of the low, flickering flames. Sitting back down next to the fire, you laid on your side, resting your head on your crossed arms, and watched the way the flames danced across the sappy sinews of the wood. A large yawn escaped your lips, and you frowned a little in dismay. 

The fire was warm, but you still felt relatively cold from the angry wind that whistled outside the cave. A small shiver wracked your body, and you drew your arms in closer around yourself.

Kylo caught this, and asked with some hesitation, "Are you cold?"

You chuckled lightly, and mumbled, "Just a bit...yeah."

Kylo was contemplating what to say and he ran his fingers through his hair rather nervously. There was a brief moment of silence where you just watched him, waiting for him to speak, and he swallowed. 

"Might I suggest...uhm...we only have the one blanket...it might be a good idea to, uh, share it," he stammered and looked down at his feet to hide the color seeping into his cheeks.  _This means nothing. I'm merely offering to share because it would be beneficial to our survival and health. And I need her help if i'm to survive. Yes. She won't see it any other way anyways...right._

He continued to rationalize with himself in his head to quiet his thoughts, but was snapped out of it by the sound of your stumbling voice.

"Uhm...well, I, uh, that's a pretty good idea, yeah...I mean...it'll help us keep warm...and yeah. Uhm...sure," you rambled nervously. Much to your embarrassment, your cheeks had flushed bright pink when Kylo suggested sharing the blanket. It was clearly the obvious choice, but you couldn't help but panic at the thought of it. As much as Ren pissed you off, you couldn't deny that he was quite a handsome man, and although you know the idea was just a harmless suggestion, it was enough to entice your imagination into wandering places you really didn't want to wander...at least not that you'd willingly admit.

Kylo was shocked to hear you agree, and his heart skipped a beat upon noticing your cheeks grow rosy. Did that mean...his mind was flooded with thoughts once more, and his heart began to race. Does...Does she like me?  _She couldn't...no, I'm just imagining it. She hates me._

You got up, and walked slowly over to his side, and sat down. The two of you were sitting next to one another rather closely, but you made sure to leave some space between you since you were incredibly nervous; your heart was practically in your throat, and suddenly you felt as if you were never cold in the first place.

 _Is it too late to back out,_ you thought in a tizzy, your mind whirling. The angry silence that usually hung in the air had suddenly grown tense. Your body was frozen in place as you tried not to move too much and disturb that tension. Did you always breath this loud or was it just you? How were you possibly supposed to fall asleep now knowing that your back was to a sith... _a very attractive sith_.

You lowered yourself slowly to the ground, turned onto your side, and released a pent up breath of air shakily. _Just act natural! Ugh! Don't make it weird, [Y/N]_

"Uh...here," Ren said quietly, and he reached over to place half of the blanket over you, "you better not roll around in your sleep," he attempted to say toughly, but it came out somewhat softer than he intended. Inhaling and exhaling heavily, Kylo laid down next to you, facing away, and the two of you laid there in awkward silence, back to back.

Neither of you were able to fall asleep for a long while, but ever so slowly, your eyelids eventually fluttered shut, and so did his.

Later in the night, you opened your eyes sleepily in the dark, and shivered. You could feel warmth radiating from the body next to yours, and in your half-asleep state, you didn't even realize what you were doing, but, you lazily flipped over and snuggled into Ren's chest. A warm pair of arms then draped gently around your waist, pulling you closer, and you peacefully dozed off once more. Ren sleepily nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, unknowingly smiling into your soft skin, and the two of you slumbered through the night; unawares, peaceful, and warmly entwined in each others arms...

...that was until the two of you woke up the next morning.

 


	8. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our reader and Kylo awaken to each others company, and it quickly spirals into an argument of who did what. The reader tries to come to terms with Kylo only to be rejected rather harshly. Kylo continues to be in denial, and realizes that it's not going to be as easy to do that as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my fellow Star Wars loving trash! Thanks again to everyone who's left a lovely comment! I've been pretty busy with school work lately, and reading all of your comments always make my day! Sorry this update took so freaking long, but I assure you that I will continue to update whenever I can (I've been daydreaming at the parts I've left off at when I get bored in my lecture halls...which is bad, but totally worth it). Anyways, here is chapter 8 finally! I hope you enjoy it!  
> PS- I just got a hella fancy version of Rey's lightsaber, and it was the best waste of money I've ever spent! Every college student should have their own lightsaber so the real party can happen  
> PSS- That'd actually probably turn into a disaster in the long run...but it'd be sick anyways......until next time peeps!

You felt your mind ever so slowly coming to your senses as your body began its long process of waking up. 

It was still fairly early in the morning, and you yawned sleepily with your eyes still closed. You refused to open them and get up just yet since you were too lazy to leave the comfort of your current resting place.

A peaceful quietness hung in the cool morning air, and you found it was quite warm underneath the blanket. You sighed contently, and snuggled drowsily into the warm figure sleeping next to you.

There was the comforting feeling of arms wrapped around you, and you lazily moved your hand to rest it next to your head; your fingers brushed gently on soft locks of hair.

You hummed happily in your sleep, and opened your eyes groggily to find yourself face to face with Kylo Ren.

Your heart practically exploded out of your chest, and you shot up like a bullet, releasing a loud cry of surprise that woke the young man below you with a start.

"AHHHHHHH," as you attempted to stagger to your feet you got tangled in the blanket and fell unceremoniously onto Kylo.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING," he yelled, only mere inches from your face.

"WHAT AM I DOING? W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING," you shouted back wildly and retorted, "I FALL ASLEEP AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GET ALL...ALL....FRIENDLY WITH ME!"

"WHAT! I didn't do anything! Are you crazy," he exclaimed defensively, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO...who"

Suddenly, his words trailed off and he fell silent. His entire body had tensed up as it slowly occurred to him that you were directly on top of him.

You were in such a panicked tizzy when you fell, that you hadn't yet noticed that you were practically straddling Ren below you.

Your hands were next to his head, and your arms were holding you up, hovering just above his face. As you looked down at him, your hair was falling and brushing his cheeks, which were very rapidly turning bright pink. 

From the look on his face, it quickly dawned upon you what position you were in and you're eyes widened in shock...this was definitely waaaaaay past invading personal space.

Kylo clenched his jaw and stammered lowly, "Get...off of me."

If looks could kill, you'd be so dead right now...

Your cheeks flushed bright red with embarrassment, and you quickly tried to get to your feet again. Apparently, you weren’t moving fast enough for Kylo’s taste though, and he roughly shoved you off.

You tumbled to the ground with a small yelp, and shot a glare at him. “What the hell! I was getting up, you idiot!”

“Well, you weren’t getting up fast _enough_ ,” he snapped at you, all the while averting his gaze from yours, “The last thing I need is some…some silly _girl_ accusing me of such nonsense.” He curled his fingers into a tight fist, and slammed them into the ground next to him, squeezing his eyes shut.

You furrowed your brows angrily, and huffed in response to the cold shoulder treatment he was appearing to give you, “It’s not nonsense! You were the one that suggested sharing the goddamn blanket in the first place!”

You fumed at him and waited patiently for a response, but he was still refusing to look up at you; his shoulders were shaking slightly and you could hear him inhaling and exhaling irately. He didn’t look like he was going to be speaking up anytime soon.

“Really? The silent treatment? Real mature… Well, I’m just gonna go ahead and be the bigger person…I’m sorry for invading your personal space and…whatever,” you looked embarrassedly at your feet as you spoke and you could tell from the heat in your face that you were blushing, “But I’m not the only one that is in the wrong here, and honestly…it’s not all that big of deal to begin with!  So, we…we might have snuggled a bit…w-who fucking cares! It was cold or something…I don’t know.”

You paused for a moment and sighed, crossing your arms lightly across your chest. “Look, I…I’m trying my best to look past all those shitty things you’ve done to me, and who you are, and…I’m being honest when I say that I’m really trying to understand you more and be nice, but it’d be really kind of you if you’d just try to lighten up a bit more. We’re kinda stuck with each other.”

You felt extremely awkward in this situation to begin with, but without any feedback from Ren, you only felt even more uncomfortable. After a few moments of silence, you uncrossed your arms and stammered timidly, “You know…I was kinda thinking that maybe,” you rubbed your arm reassuringly and looked at him expectantly, “that maybe we could try to be friends, Ren.”

Kylo sat frozen the entire time you spoke. He was trying so hard to suppress the emotions he was beginning to feel for you, but when it came down to it, he just couldn’t seem do it. 

He couldn’t kill you back on the imperial cruiser, and even when he had the chance to let you die and be crushed by that infernal ship, he still couldn’t do it. It was absolutely infuriating to him.

In his head, Kylo desperately continued to push away the light that was calling to him. He’d been able to do it so easily with just about every other emotion in his life, but the same one always seemed to give him the most grief. _Love and affection._ He believed that, with the death of his father, he wouldn’t have to deal with this temptation any longer…

…but never before had it been stronger. Since the moment he had sensed your presence on that ship, something in the force had shifted, and he couldn’t figure out why you fascinated him so. You were nothing exceptional; just a common thief with hardly any connection to the force, and yet, every passing moment, your simply talking and looking at him tempted his heart to stray from the dark.

The worst part was…you had no idea what you were doing to him either. Clenching his teeth together, Kylo exhaled his breath shakily, and forced himself to respond to you.

“Why…would you ever believe that I’d want to be friends with the likes of _you._ You're just a pathetic, useless, little girl. _You're nobody_ ; if we died out here, I doubt a single soul would even notice you were gone,” he growled lowly and looked up at you with dark eyes and a cruel smile.

Your heart fell heavily in your chest, and you slowly took a step back. You were being cautious to begin with; you knew who and what he was, and you had thought that maybe…just maybe he’d be different. He had saved you after all…so, maybe he couldn’t be all that bad.

You knew it deep down that this would be his reaction, that these were his true colors, but his words still stung you none the less. Tears began to well up in your eyes, and you weren’t entirely sure why it was affecting you so badly.

Perhaps, it was the fact that you’d be stuck on this planet with an evil man who apparently hated you or maybe it was the fact that, even though you grew up your whole life on your own, you didn’t want to be left alone to die, lost, forgotten, and loved by no one. To extend a hand of friendship to someone wasn’t something you did all that often, so you didn’t take it lightly when it was rejected…especially so harshly.

A few hot tears rolled down from your glistening [Y/EC] eyes, and you yelled at him loudly, “Fine! I don’t know why I ever even bothered trying,” you threw your fists down angrily at your sides and added lowly, “I should’ve known…you really are a monster under that pathetic mask of yours.”

With that, you bolted out of the cave, and rushed into the brush and trees. Branches and thorns tore at your clothing and hair, but you didn’t care. You just needed to get away. The last thing you wanted him to see now was you crying.

Her words had pierced into Kylo’s heart, and his angry glower quickly fell away and turned into a face full of regret and concern. As you ran out the cave entrance, he reached out a hand, and called after you immediately, “No, [Y/N]! Wait,” he tried moving to his feet to chase after you, out of regular habit, but his leg quickly protested, and he fell to his hands and knees, wincing in pain.

Clearly, his cry had fallen on empty ears…or much more likely, you had just ignored him even if you had heard him. He didn’t blame you; it was his original intent to lash out and push you away. He did so in an attempt to repress his growing attraction to you, and he thought he had succeeded in that moment too, until he saw your eyes glisten with tears.

Seeing you look so upset had a large effect on him, that he wasn’t expecting at all, but hearing you call him a monster was even worse.

It slowly dawned upon him that he was fighting a losing battle with himself, but any chance of growing closer to you now was probably ruined, and it was his own doing.

Slamming his fists against the ground, he growled in frustration, “I’m such an idiot!” There was no way he could really go out and follow you at this point, you were probably long gone, and he had no idea if you’d even return. So, there was nothing he could do, but sit and wait.

An exasperated sigh left his lips, and he slowly made his way back to the fire. As he sat in the loud silence, Kylo picked carefully through his thoughts, and finally came to a conclusion. 

If and when you returned, he wasn’t going to fight his emotions anymore. There was really no point in trying to deny it to himself any longer…he was falling for you, regardless of his denial.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Sign Me the Fuck Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our reader had run off into the unknown after being awful hurt by Kylo's harsh words. You can't understand why his words hurt you so deeply until it really hits you...it's all fight or flight response from there as you race to the ship wreckage with the intention of sending out a rescue call for the Resistance to save you. Hopefully, they'll get to you in time before your foolish heart gets the best of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, friends! I am well aware I took a gazillion years to post this chapter, and it's imply because school hit me like a train and so did a surprise medical issue. All is well now though, aside from having no free time because of my education...oh well. Anyhow, thank you so much for all your patience. All your kind comments about my story really made my day, and I can't wait to get back into posting more chapters. Hope you enjoy this one...things only get better from here (or worse...I dunno...it really depends on your out look on life).

The sound of your feet pounding against the ground was the only thing you could hear, other than the sound of your own ragged breathing. You had no idea how long you had been running, but the stitch in your side was what finally brought you to a halt in your tracks. Slowly coming to a stop, you leaned momentarily into a tree and wheezed heavily as you tried to catch your breath.

Your face was still wet with tears, and you sunk to your knees on the forest floor, quietly sobbing into your arms. You had no idea that Kylo Ren’s words would hurt you so badly, even more so than his own physical actions ever had. How did you let this happen? You could’ve sworn that you saw a kindness in him…there simply had to be; a truly evil person wouldn’t have put his own life at stake just to save you. All you wanted was to get him to drop the façade, and realize that he might as well make an effort to get along with you if you were going to be stuck together for who knows how long. 

Using your sleeve, you gently wiped the wet streaks from under your puffy eyes. _Why should I care what he said; he doesn’t even know me, much less know my life. Why should I care…why do I care?_ You sink your face into the palms of your hands, and squeeze your eyes shut. This shouldn’t be bothering you as much as it is, but it was, and you just couldn’t make anything of it. 

Did you want his acceptance? Did you want him to like you? You quickly shook your head, and gripped the sides of your face with your fingers. Part of you was no doubt hurt by the fact that he didn’t like you, and you desperately raked your brain as to reasons why this would be the case. 

You recalled the look on his face when he thanked you for the first time, back when you gave him the crutches. The way his dark waves fell around his pale, angled face, and all the little freckles and imperfections that dotted it…the softened look he got in his eyes that was almost apologetic in a way, it was then that he gave you a small smile of thanks. A smile that had made your heart skip a beat. It was then that you noticed how nervous you got around him, once you had removed his mask and revealed his face. 

_Oh. Oh no._

It only took you a moment to recognize what this feeling was before the panic set in. _Love… Attraction... a crush_ − whatever the hell you wanted to call it, you sure as hell knew you should want nothing to do with it if it involved that basket case of a man. Frantically, you scrambled to your feet and began sprinting in the direction of the ship wreckage.

_Nope! No! Uh-uh! Sign me the fuck out! There is no way that I’m going to stay here long enough for THAT to happen! He’s an absolutely awful human being! He’s terribly cruel…rude…and one stuck up son of a bitch…regardless of his lovely flowing locks of hair._

“Damn it,” you yowled aloud into nothingness to no one in particular. You needed to find a way off this planet before you accidently let your emotions do something incredibly stupid, and the only place you could think of as a start was the wreckage. It might take some pretty extensive work, but you just might be able to rig up some sort of radar system to send out a distress signal to the Resistance.

After covering a short distance, you slowed to a halt among the remains of the former ship, and leaned heavily onto your knees to catch your breath for a moment. You whipped the sweat from your face, and scowled as your nose scrunched up in disgust. You haven’t bathed in days now, and your body reeked of dirt and sweat. At this point, you’d probably kill for a steamy, hot shower, but you knew that wasn’t coming anytime soon…unless you could get a signal out there. 

Rummaging through the debris was tricky. By the time you stumbled upon one of the ship’s radar boards, it didn’t take you very long to see that the communications system was practically useless; most of the valuable parts were damaged beyond repair, at least with only your knowledge of tinkering. Hacking was more of your thing than the whole building process of the tech. So, this was going to be no easy task, you realized that.

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips and you began the long process of figuring this disaster of an escape plan out…the last plan didn’t end so well, so you were really hoping round two would wield better results. You worked for the entirety of the day, nonstop. Your stomach started growing in protest at around midday, but you forced yourself to keep focused on the task at hand.

It was a bit shotty, but as the planet’s sun began to fall, you found yourself with a kinda pathetic looking radar system before your eyes. It was about the size of a small speeder with all the extra bells and whistles you had to put on to make damaged parts function, but it was enough tinkering for your exhausted wits to see the communications system flicker back to life. 

“YES! Thank god,” you cried out into the darkening sky with relief; it may be a crappy system you rigged up, but it would still do the trick. You plopped down next to the device’s screen and began tapping away at different buttons as you sent out a simple emergency message to the resistance.

It was a complex sequence of numbers that you all had been trained to know in great times of need…and this was certainly one of those times. As you finished plugging in the coding, you began recording your encrypted message and sent out a homing signal that would hopefully only be picked up by their radar. Your fingers moved quickly as ever over the keypad, and you breathed out anxiously; you could see your breath in the dropping temperature. A shiver ran through your body, and it dawned upon you how cold you had gotten with the sun set. Your fingers and toes felt like ice, and you quickly shoved your palms between your legs in a meager attempt to warm them up. 

Now, all you could really do was wait, and hope that the Resistance got ahold of that signal. One thing was for sure though; you realized rather bitterly…you couldn’t stay out here. In these freezing temperatures that were still dropping, you wouldn’t even last the night. You scowled heavily and stood abruptly to your feet.

Yeah. You realized there was no place to go, but back to the cave…with _him_.

Furrowing your brows and clenching your teeth together, you quickly set on your way back up the mountain side.

  _I just have to last a while longer, just…just ignore him and tell it to him straight; I only came back because it’s MY food and MY fire. I built this stupid little base, and, so help me god, there’s no way I’m gonna let some wannabe sith piss baby scare me off into the woods and steal my shit!_

You broke into a run once more to get yourself back faster and also to get your body temperature back up. The entire time you glided through the trees, you encouraged yourself in your head. Everything was going to be fine if you just acted normally…yup…normal. A-okay. Just act in your usual, tough “I’m not taking any shit from you” attitude. There’s no way you could screw this up…

You slowed to a halt in front of the cave entrance; a warm light flickering from the inside cast dancing shadows on the walls. Suddenly, all of your confidence was gone, as if it had up and left as soon as your feet came to a stop. Dealing with these sorts of emotions wasn’t really your forte, it never has been; you had no idea how quickly you could botch it up…knowing how things generally go, you probably would.

You swallowed nervously, and shook your head, _Relax. This will all be over before I know it. Now…go in there, and make him regret ever having anything to do with you._

At least at the time, you thought that’s how it’d all go down in the end…

Damn, were you wrong.


	10. Apologies and Messy Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is deeply regretting his harsh words to you, and he anxiously waits your return. He hopes he'll get the chance to apologize for his actions, and try to start over entirely...but will you be so ready to accept this apology?

It was past sun down already, and the temperature had already dropped dangerously low, as it had in the previous nights there. At this point, Kylo would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t worried about you. You had taken off after his outburst this morning; he didn’t blame you for that at all since he had been such an asshole to you in the first place, but it had been an awfully long time since then. 

It was well over two hours since the sun had set and the planet’s temperature at night was no place for an underdressed, young woman to be wandering around unarmed. It didn’t help his conscience much that he wasn’t able to go looking for you either.

 Kylo grit his teeth as his worry and concern for your safety gradually turned into growing frustration. He couldn’t recall a time in which he had been so useless, and he hated every minute of it now. In his leg’s current state, he could barely do anything other than drag himself around on the ground…which was essentially the equivalent to being useless in his book as far as he was concerned.

He glared down at his splinted leg with absolute loathing, and released a growl of annoyance that echoed loudly off the surrounding stone walls. He crossed his arms across his bare chest with an unhappy scowl on his face as he glared around the cave.

During the days when you were out, not so much today, he had familiarized himself with this little hobble that you had so proudly declared your shelter. He was rather bemused by how organized you made your meager assortment of objects that you deemed helpful for survival.

A cold wind suddenly howled through the cave for a moment, sending a shiver throughout his body. Being drawn out of his bitter thoughts by the cold sting of the wind, he quickly raked his memory to recall where he had seen his clothes that you put aside.

His searching brown eyes flicked over to a corner where you had decided to keep the little medical kit, and quickly recognized a pile of familiar dark clothing and armor. Kylo grabbed a hold of the crutches you had made him from their resting place by his side, and he carefully stood up on them. They weren’t the most comfortable things to use, after all, you had made them out of ship scraps, but he had already grown somewhat used to them.

He tried gingerly putting some pressure on his injured leg, and released a pained hiss as a sharp pain shot through his leg; he wasn’t going to be able to walk on it anytime soon, but the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as it was before. So at least he knew it was healing.

Kylo made his way over to the pile, and rummaged through it looking for the black undershirt that he generally wore under his tunic. After a short time, he finally stumbled upon it, and he quickly pulled it on over his head, pleased to be somewhat relieved of the cold. Fortunately for him, the long sleeves would be enough for now with the fire going too.

 _I wonder if she’s going to be alright…_ Kylo let his thoughts stray back to you, and, as if on cue, suddenly he could hear someone approaching.

At the sound of quiet footsteps entered the cave, Kylo’s head shot up to see you walk in.You halted just inside the cave entrance, and fixed him with an uneasy gaze. Your eyes were red and puffy, but your tears had long since ceased.

After staring at you for a brief moment of silence, Kylo looked down at his feet and said, “[Y/N], listen. I…”

Before he could even finish talking, you silenced him with a raised hand, and stated firmly, “I don’t need to hear it from you. Look, I get it. You don’t like me. That’s fine. I don’t give a damn if you like me or not, but we’re stuck here together and I’m not about to go find myself a new shelter after I found all that crap for this one, okay. So, we’re just gonna have to put up with each other. Deal?”

You could cut the tension in the room like a knife at this point. Kylo furrowed his brows, but he met your gaze with a look of submission. He stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at you. He had no idea how to fix this other than give you time and space…and keep a lid on his anger. It was little outbursts like that that got him here in the first place.

You began to fidget uncomfortably as the silence prolonged between you two, and the confidence you had built up outside was quickly deteriorating away. “Uh….well. Aren’t you going to say something,” you tried to say hotly but it fell rather short of that, much to your dismay.

Kylo’s gaze didn’t waver, but his eyes softened a bit as he said quietly, “As long as you’re capable of putting up with me…”

Your eyes widened a moment and you stammered in disbelief, “I…what?”

Without thinking of what may follow his rather rash actions, Kylo pushed himself up into a standing position with his crutches, a small grimace splayed across his face from the effort for a moment, and hobbled forward slowly to stand before you.

Your breath hitched in your chest, whether it was from fear or something else you weren’t sure, but you found yourself unable to move. He stopped about a foot in front of you, and his head was hanging as he looked at his feet.

“I....I’m sorry for what I said….earlier,” he spoke a bit louder than before, and then looked up at you with a look of remorse. His dark brown eyes appeared to be searching your face for any sign of forgiveness, and you found yourself believing it more and more with each passing second.

“Um,” your gaze fell bashfully away from his as you felt your cheeks flush a bit, “Yeah….it’s nothing really. Don’t beat yourself up too much…I’m over it.”

Kylo gave a small sigh of relief and backed away slowly, “Good. Ah…I’m glad you didn’t freeze out there.” He then returned to the fire side and gently lowered himself back down, leaving you standing there in a small state of befuddlement.

You weren’t expecting this to go so easily, but part of you was internally screaming at yourself that it hadn’t gone worse…it was going to make it so much harder to avoid THOSE feelings you had been worried about harboring for him. You quit pondering for the moment, and let your eyes flit  back over to Kylo; he was sitting there rather quietly, tending to the fire and staring into the flames with those dark, brooding eyes of his.

Those stupidly handsome dark eyes…

_Fuckin’ hell, I hope I’m not stranded here too long or else…I don’t know how long I can keep playing it cool around him._

Interrupting your thoughts, your mouth opened wide to release a tiresome yawn. It would appear that all that running and working had finally hit you all at the same time. Your muscles ached and your eyes felt incredibly droopy. It was definitely time to hit the hay…but you knew what that meant.

It’s almost as if Kylo had read your mind because he stated rather matter of factly, “Well, there’s no use in pretending. You're obviously exhausted. Just…come over here and make yourself comfortable.”

Kylo could once again feel his mind wander at the thought of sleeping next to you another time, but he quickly cleared his throat and stammered coyly to make himself clear, “Don’t you get any funny ideas this time…if you get that cold just find some more wood for that damned fire of yours.”

He quickly looked away from you to hide the rosy hue that was beginning to warm his cheeks, and he crossed his arms firmly across his chest.  

You gave a small smirk, too tired to care about his tough act, and you stumbled over to his side. Stretching your arms high above your head, you yawned loudly, and then laid down to curl up underneath the blanket. “Mmmhn yeah…yeah. Right back at you, Ren,” you murmured sleepily as you started to doze off.

Kylo was surprised, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t happy to have you forgive him so easily. He knew his actions were often rash and were heavily synced with his angry emotions, but he just didn’t have it in him to pretend to hate you anymore…at least not convincingly. It’s as if you had already called his bluff, and took his last comment as nothing more than playful banter.

He had to admit…that was kinda nice. The young man looked down at your now slumbering figure, and watched your chest slowly rise and fall with each breath. Your long, [Y/HC] hair was a once more hanging messily over your face; each little puff of breath making some strands of it flitter lightly. Kylo’s lips couldn’t help but twitch into a small smile of bemusement at this simple little action of yours. Reaching out, he ever so carefully brushed the hair off your face, and then, after a small moment of hesitation, he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.

Your sleeping form murmured a few incoherent words without waking, and rolled over to nuzzle your face into Kylo’s side.

Kylo realized he had been holding his breath, and released a pent up sigh. He was beyond nervous around you, even when you were sleeping, but he found he rather liked having you close to him.

 _This is going to take some getting used to…_ he thought sheepishly as he laid down next to you, and drifted off to sleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, friends! I'm beyond super sorry for disappearing off the face of the planet for so long. As many of you know, I have this lovely little thing called a life that always keeps knocking at my door with this supposed "important stuff" whenever I'm trying to be a dork writing...anywho, I intend to resume this fic starting tonight with this new chapter. I'm not promising daily updates, but hopefully every week or two when I have time between my classes and keeping a social life, I will update this bad boy. Soooo...please enjoy this super awkward and fluffy chapter. 
> 
> ps-please don't hate me >.


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